Surreal.

It’s a strange feeling, the end of the school year. All year long, I’ve tried to survive, basically wanting to make it through the end of this year. Everyone says the first year of teaching is the worst, so I’ve wanted to rush through it to see if it really will be better next year.

And now, with only 5 days left (4 ½, really!), I find myself wanting more time with my students, even the knuckleheads. I wonder if I really poured enough of myself into these kids. I know I can’t change their lives, but did I use my time with them well? I couldn’t have worked any harder. I definitely know that much. (If anything, I probably should have worked less & lived a little more.) But did I encourage them enough? Do my students realize how amazingly unique they are? Am I sending them off to high school well-prepared, or will they freak out in H.S. science & fail miserably? Is this how parents feel when they send their kids off to college?

I’ve looked forward to summer all year long. And I still can’t wait to REST, sleep, cook, travel, spoil my niece & nephew, and have a life. But I also find myself wondering, what will I think about? What will I do all day? What the heck will I talk about at social events? I’ll actually kind of (dare I say it?!) miss these kids, even the ones who drive me insane. Have I gone completely mad?? It’s a very strange situation, I’m finding.

On a happier, more conclusive note, my kids were so great on our field trip today. I was a bit anxious b/c we tried to take as many as possible, including our more challenging kids who haven’t been on a field trip this year. They did really well, even though the kids thought some of the tour guides “looked like leprechauns” (hey, at least they’re using descriptive language!) and it was 80 bazillion degrees on the bus coming home.

5 more days!!!