Arrrrrgh.
How beautiful that my students chose today, which should be characterized by love & friendship, to show their inner selves. We had benchmark testing yet again this morning, which usually means the kids are crazy and largely un-teachable in the afternoons. So, I decided to make it easy on myself & show a PBS video, which would also be easy on the kids, whom I think are being tested to death.
J. came in tardy & off the wall, & I tried to get her focused several times. I even reminded her of the past few days, where her behavior has been angelic (comparatively speaking), and how I wanted to have more days like those. I turned my back for maybe 5 seconds, and then heard her shouting, so I turned around, to find her in the midst of a fight with another (male!) student. Yes, in my classroom. I thought they were play-fighting until I saw the rest of the class backing away & noticed how desperately they were looking at me.
I'm so disappointed in them. I made a personal effort to notice J's good behavior lately, because she responds well to praise. I wrote her notes, which she proudly (& loudly, apparently) showed our AP & guidance counselor. And the other "fighter" has been disciplined before for this very behavior. I want to shake him & say, "Do you realize you could be charged for assault on a female?!"
I know J is reactionary, and I can't expect complete change all at once. But it still makes me sad, mostly because I know she's acting out of learned behavior & her own defense mechanisms. I also know she doesn't have the skills to let things roll off, or to ignore whatever set her off in the first place. I know she's been trying harder, and I'm still proud of that. Yet I feel a little defeated somehow . . . it's 2 steps forward & then a few steps back. Sometimes I wonder if we're even progressing or moving at all, or if she really wants to change.
Arrrrrgh.
I refuse to end on a miserable note, so I'll purposefully remember the huge "Happy Birthday" poster my students created & signed for me on Friday. And the cake that 2 students personally delivered to me at home (along with a balloon & a banana). S. told me I should hang the poster & read it when I'm angry at them. I wouldn't say I'm angry, but it's worth reading at a time like this.
Happy Valentine's Day! Tomorrow is a new day.
J. came in tardy & off the wall, & I tried to get her focused several times. I even reminded her of the past few days, where her behavior has been angelic (comparatively speaking), and how I wanted to have more days like those. I turned my back for maybe 5 seconds, and then heard her shouting, so I turned around, to find her in the midst of a fight with another (male!) student. Yes, in my classroom. I thought they were play-fighting until I saw the rest of the class backing away & noticed how desperately they were looking at me.
I'm so disappointed in them. I made a personal effort to notice J's good behavior lately, because she responds well to praise. I wrote her notes, which she proudly (& loudly, apparently) showed our AP & guidance counselor. And the other "fighter" has been disciplined before for this very behavior. I want to shake him & say, "Do you realize you could be charged for assault on a female?!"
I know J is reactionary, and I can't expect complete change all at once. But it still makes me sad, mostly because I know she's acting out of learned behavior & her own defense mechanisms. I also know she doesn't have the skills to let things roll off, or to ignore whatever set her off in the first place. I know she's been trying harder, and I'm still proud of that. Yet I feel a little defeated somehow . . . it's 2 steps forward & then a few steps back. Sometimes I wonder if we're even progressing or moving at all, or if she really wants to change.
Arrrrrgh.
I refuse to end on a miserable note, so I'll purposefully remember the huge "Happy Birthday" poster my students created & signed for me on Friday. And the cake that 2 students personally delivered to me at home (along with a balloon & a banana). S. told me I should hang the poster & read it when I'm angry at them. I wouldn't say I'm angry, but it's worth reading at a time like this.
Happy Valentine's Day! Tomorrow is a new day.
posted by Kat at
6:36 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home