Not once, but twice!

I'm still a bit in shock, but that happens frequently when one works with 100+ 8th graders on a daily basis. I'm smiling inside over a minor, but significant "victory" with one of my more difficult students. She let me know on the 1st day of school that she "hated science in 6th grade and hated science in 7th grade . . . it's so boring!" So, I already had 2 strikes against me, as her science teacher.

I later encountered her sassy attitude & irritated demeanor in my class, which seemed to be more blatantly directed toward me, not the subject I teach. My team leader talked to her about it, since she has more influence on certain kids, because of her experience & race. The student said, about me, "She just irks me!" So, needless to say, we weren't exactly hitting it off very well.

I have these mild out-of-body experiences with a few kids, where I really feel like an actress, because I have to be extra patient & super-polite, lest I seethe and spit tacks at them. I've tried really hard to compliment this student, give her positive reinforcement, and "go the extra mile," if you will. She generally brushes by me nonchalantly and avoids eye contact in the hallway.

Imagine my surprise when, on Friday, I passed this student at her locker after school. She called out to me, "Bye Miss M_____!" I almost pinched myself b/c it didn't seem possible.

And then, today, after track practice, I saw her outside waiting on her ride. I knew it couldn't happen again, not when she is surrounded by her peers. I even avoided her eye contact this time, which ensures that this was completely student-initiated. Sure enough, I heard her singsong voice say, "Bye Miss M_____!"

I'm still in shock. Sometimes the tiniest incidents can seem like the biggest achievements. It was nice enough to end last week on a positive, but even nicer to start this week with more of the same.

Unbelievable

Sometimes I wonder if I’m floating on exactly the same planet as everyone else, or if the world really is as messed up as it seems to be. Today the parent of one of yesterday’s “fighters” (for lack of a better term) came in to meet with the principal about the incident, and she called me in to talk with him as well. I was happy to talk with him, but the longer I listened to him, the angrier I became.

His primary concern? Why didn’t a teacher stop the fight before it happened? Furthermore, his son told him that “there won’t no teacher around anyway.” Excuse me? No, I wasn’t in the middle of your son’s boxing match, because I was on the other end of my classroom buzzing for the office, and sending a kid down the hallway to the nearest admin’s office.

And what’s this about how I should have stopped the fight as soon as the “bantering”, as Fighter’s Father called it, started? Excuse me for living, sir, but if you don’t mind me saying so, I responded as soon as I heard the shouting, and by the time I turned around, the 2 kids were already at each other’s throats & shoving desks around. A split second is all it takes. You’re a parent. You know how quickly things can happen.

I probably shouldn’t have said this, and I probably came across a little irritated, but I couldn’t help responding. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable stepping in the middle of 2 fighting kids, and that my primary concern was actually the safety of the other kids in my classroom. I even slightly exaggerated and told the father that half of my class was injured & had to go to guidance to get ice afterwards for injuries (okay, so it was probably more like 5 kids, but does it really matter? Kids got hurt, because of YOUR son). Furthermore, I told this parent that I expected more from his son, who is a Peer Mediator, and has been taken off campus for an entire day’s training of how to resolve conflict. I wasn’t there, but I’m fairly certain they didn’t teach him how to throw chairs at other students in self defense.

This dad’s main agenda was “how can I blame the faculty for my son’s potential suspension,” and “will my son receive a lesser punishment than the girl who provoked him.” I was so mad. Thankfully, my principal backed me up & told the dad I had done everything that was expected of me. I was irate after that meeting, and felt completely targeted by this obviously irrational parent.

The funny thing? I’ve never been more ecstatic to face my 5^th period class. I took a risk and let them do a lab today, which worked nicely . . . only 1 broken piece of glassware, which is quite an accomplishment for that class.

Arrrrrgh.

How beautiful that my students chose today, which should be characterized by love & friendship, to show their inner selves. We had benchmark testing yet again this morning, which usually means the kids are crazy and largely un-teachable in the afternoons. So, I decided to make it easy on myself & show a PBS video, which would also be easy on the kids, whom I think are being tested to death.

J. came in tardy & off the wall, & I tried to get her focused several times. I even reminded her of the past few days, where her behavior has been angelic (comparatively speaking), and how I wanted to have more days like those. I turned my back for maybe 5 seconds, and then heard her shouting, so I turned around, to find her in the midst of a fight with another (male!) student. Yes, in my classroom. I thought they were play-fighting until I saw the rest of the class backing away & noticed how desperately they were looking at me.

I'm so disappointed in them. I made a personal effort to notice J's good behavior lately, because she responds well to praise. I wrote her notes, which she proudly (& loudly, apparently) showed our AP & guidance counselor. And the other "fighter" has been disciplined before for this very behavior. I want to shake him & say, "Do you realize you could be charged for assault on a female?!"

I know J is reactionary, and I can't expect complete change all at once. But it still makes me sad, mostly because I know she's acting out of learned behavior & her own defense mechanisms. I also know she doesn't have the skills to let things roll off, or to ignore whatever set her off in the first place. I know she's been trying harder, and I'm still proud of that. Yet I feel a little defeated somehow . . . it's 2 steps forward & then a few steps back. Sometimes I wonder if we're even progressing or moving at all, or if she really wants to change.

Arrrrrgh.

I refuse to end on a miserable note, so I'll purposefully remember the huge "Happy Birthday" poster my students created & signed for me on Friday. And the cake that 2 students personally delivered to me at home (along with a balloon & a banana). S. told me I should hang the poster & read it when I'm angry at them. I wouldn't say I'm angry, but it's worth reading at a time like this.

Happy Valentine's Day! Tomorrow is a new day.

Where there's a will . . .

we'll find a way. And we did.

I'm all for caution, especially since I spent entirely too many years as Lab Safety Nazi. However, my department chair spazzed out a bit when K & I wanted to do flame tests with our kids. Never mind the fact that our district doesn't allow fire in classrooms. We, quite frankly, felt the learning opportunity was worth the risk. We approached the dept. chair to ask about how to make salt solutions properly, before we started mixing them ourselves. She was very little help, so we lit our own propane tank & started throwing chemicals into the flames to check the colors. (Okay, so we did exercise proper precautions, but . . . I can't say I was entirely secure in the results of our experimentation.)

Anyhoo . . . it was worth the risk. We figured it out, and today I tried to capitalize on the "wow" factor in class ~ dimming the lights, closing the blinds, wearing safety goggles (for the first time this year, which, admittedly, is a poor example of safety). The kids totally loved it. Sometimes I get weary of teaching the same lesson 4 times a day, but today was bearable. I never tire of the look of wonder on their faces, or of hearing, "oooooh! that's bangin'!" But what really makes me smile is when I hear, "Miss M, can we do that again?" or, even more heart-warming, "Miss M, what are we doing tomorrow?"

It's hard to believe I'm even writing this, considering I almost quit last Friday. I've had thoughts of quitting before, but I never came this close to walking away completely. I think the voice of reason that kept me employed was the realization that I was still recovering from influenza, and therefore had an extremely low tolerance for any disrespect, misbehavior, and other typical adolescent tendencies.

I suppose now is an appropriate time to record the lessons I learned from 3 days of sick leave last week:

• Get a flu shot next year
• Do not expect sub to take attendance, follow lesson plans, or maintain any semblance of order in classroom
• No matter how much I think I feel like coming back to work, I should stay home another day (or 2) & sleep, without guilt.
• Upon returning to work, implement simple lesson plans with minimal teacher input, even if it negates everything I learned in grad school.

I can now happily end on a positive note, since U2 just won another Grammy. (Sorry, Johnny Buckland)