So ready

I know it's only 5 more weeks, but I am so ready for summer. I'm tired of having a 9pm bedtime so that I can wake up at 5 am and make it through a 10 hour day. I'm tired of packing my lunch every day. I'm tired of the knot that forms in my stomach on Sunday afternoons when I realize I cannot procrastinate any longer and must devise a working lesson plan for the next day.

I'm a little confused about my school's expectations lately. I thought I had everything sorted out, and then I received my summative evaluation. I was okay with everything in it, except how I was rated on "Non-Teaching Duties." According to the all-knowing administrators, I am performing "At Standard" for this. At first I didn't care, but then I started rewinding the mental tapes and reviewing my non-teaching performance. (They correctly rated me Above Standard as a "Reflective Practitioner," so they must know what they're doing.)

I've coached 2 sports. I joined the ESL task force to re-think how we serve our growing population of ESL students. I've done basketball duty (even though coaches are supposedly exempt). I participated in the teacher book club and read "Understanding Poverty" by Ruby Payne & brainstormed how we can reach our at-risk kids. I have organized & stocked the chemical supply room b/c no one else will do it. I volunteered to write science Benchmark questions (even though I'd rather pull out my own teeth without anesthesia). I've written 2 grants & had both funded (wahoo!) I've been to the ILT workshops they require us to attend, even though some ILTs sign their name & leave. I'm always at my post for morning duty, although I admit I'm sometimes late if I'm setting up a lab.

What else do they want from me? I absolutely cannot work any harder. I have a feeling this is their way of "sticking it to me," because I missed one tiny little make-up faculty meeting for coaches, since we miss the afternoon meetings. I knew it was wrong, but I decided it didn't matter in the scheme of things ~ I'd already gotten the info about the meeting from my coworkers, and decided to spend the time modifying a test (for my ESL students, in fact) instead of going to the 6:50 am meeting.

I know we can't all be perfect, but I don't really see how that one mistake qualifies me as "at standard." If it takes much more than this to be "above standard," I'm not sure I can do this job much longer!

5 more weeks til summer.

Why bother?

All I wanted was a stupid fondue pot. They had one on display, price tag neatly hanging down. The shelves were bare, so I opted for just a fuel container & the gel fuel instead. I'll just borrow my sister's & try to polish it so it looks acceptable to bring to a social event. (Even though I want my own.)

When I stood in line to pay, the cashier asked me, "Did you find everything okay, ma'am?" I answered her honestly and said, "Actually, no, I didn't. You were out of what I wanted, and I couldn't find the item."

No response from Ms. Cashier. No "Oh, I'm sorry - let me check in the back." No "Hmm, what was the item? We'll have to re-order it." Nothing at all. Not even an sympathetic glance.

Why bother training someone to ask an automatic question if you don't train him/her in how to handle a few likely responses? It's not the first time I've been asked that question, and usually I just ignore it and lie, even if I really wanted Gain liquid laundry detergent so I could use my $1 coupon and they only had powder Gain laundry detergent. It's just easier to nod and pretend like I found exactly what I came to buy.

Why waste the oxygen to ask the question if you don't care? Save your breath.

It's almost like the people who stand in line at a busy Starbucks to order a sugar-free, decaf, non-fat latte. I mean, come on. Why bother?